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Showing posts from October, 2011

Huckleberry: Part 1

When Dave and I went out on a scooter ride the night of August 5th last year, we did not leave our apartment with any intention of adopting two cats.

But life is funny that way.

It was 10'o'clock at night, and Dave and I we were driving past a gas station when Dave yelled, "I see kittens!" as he swerved sharply into the lot.  "You what?" I bellowed through my helmet.  And as soon as he cut the engine, I heard a wild scraping in the bushes by the road, and a jet-black kitten came shooting down from the branches.  Paws splayed, he caught sight of us, froze, and then shot back into the shrubbery.

"There's another one!" Dave called out, pointing beyond the bush to an arch-backed kitten, this one grey and white, frozen against the back curb of the gas station lot.  A car suddenly pulled into the lot, cutting my visual with the kitten.  What already hit Dave finally hit me - if they stay here, they'll get run over.  I lifted my face mask and cro…


Leaving a church you love is difficult.

What a small word, "difficult".  Nine letters, three syllables, a small vague word full of heartbreak.

It is October now.  And in October of last year, I left a church I loved.

It was the right decision.  But it was "difficult".

Dave and I left at the end of October.  At this time last year, we were in the final throes, and I was thrashing, in agony, miserable.  The church I loved and the people I loved were hurting me.  And worse, the wounds were inflicted with imperfect judgement and the best intentions.

Some mornings, I still wake up angry thinking about it.  Misguided love is a dangerous thing.

For some reason, it helps to know that it hurts so much because I loved them, that church, so much.  My heart was there, had grown vessels and nerves, was pumping blood, deep-set in the chest of that church.  And then when we left, I had to cut it out.

I sometimes wonder if my heart will ever beat right again.

The healing has been …