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Showing posts from February, 2010

Due Date

My girlfriends like to bother me about when Dave and I will have a baby. Their eyes light up at the thought of having a small wriggling creature to play with...and the ability to give it back to me when that creature diarheeas down both chubby thighs.

So for anyone wondering when that blessed event will even begin to be a possibility, here's a checklist of things to look for:

1) 2 college degrees hanging in frames on the wall. Emphasis on framed, not just received. Just because the tassel's on the other side of the hat does not mean we are suddenly in a hurry.

2) A diminishment in my present glee every time I refill my Ocella prescription.

3) A time when our sink spends more time clean and empty than as a neon-moldy scientific experiment.

4) A clear floor, when we would no longer have to hike over the hills and dales of laundry baskets and bookbags. At this point, we'd have to stack the crib on top of the hamster cage.

5) A trip to the grocery store that isn't determined by …