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Showing posts from March, 2006

The Core Four

What a wonderful delight - the Core Four are back and typing about their lives. Nothing makes my day quite like reading a fresh entry - or two even! - from Tricia AND Traci AND Jans. Nothing compares. Especially Jans; that was what, a two, maybe three month difference between entries? It made me sad, but I checked as often as I thought of it. What a tremendous treat to click your link and find my name invoked in the first sentence - I'll be on a high from that for hours to come.

To the rest of you wondering what names I'm referring to, check on my links sidebar; the three of them and I used to live in three different cities and two different states (now three cities and three states), and our little-traveled blogs kept us connected. These girls are the reason why I started writing a blog at all; it's hard to imagine that I once was the worst at updating I can't get enough of it, and I run out of stories to tell (which is saying alot for me...)

We all h…

A Member of the "Hates Ohio Weather Club"


If I'm not the only one, you'll have experienced the perfection of the day. The beginning of those rare handful of weeks where the Spring weather is lovely before Ohio scorches us with another humid summer. Today is one of those LOVELY days where the weather is PERFECT. I couldn't have made it better myself - today is my one-class day, which means I'm on campus for nearly 6 hours for an hour and a half class (it's the way my ride works out).

Today, at the feet of the utterly S A P P Y statue of Christopher Columbus at the center of campus, I was sunning myself in a pair of jeans rolled up to my knees and a tank top, utterly content. Warm breathy puffs of spring air swirled languidly about, just enough to keep the sun from being hot but not cool enough to be uncomfortable. Just one of those perfect days Ohioans don't expect much of. To my friends in Florida and California, shut the #&%$ up and let m…


Well, unfortunately I can't think of any stories to entertain you with in here. Just the usual musing about my life and what (I hope) I have learned or started to learn lately.

Alot of it has to do with Dave recently (shocking, I know). There are days when I really don't want to deal with his pessimism, especially if I hear it in his voice over the phone right before seeing him. The length and breadth of it amazes me sometimes - how does someone have that much negativity all in the same body? - but even more surprising is when I'm able to help cheer him up bit by bit as we spend time together. I feel like I've done nothing but bounce shiny optimistic pebbles against a dome of black glass, waiting for a crack, or even hairline fracture, to appear on the surface. Nothing - as solid and smooth as before. And then, in the moment I have my back turned it lifts behind me and this playful young man comes out for the remainder of our time together. I don't really know how i…

"Trying" Lifehouse

Could you let down your hair
Be transparent for awhile, just a little while
To see if you're human after all

Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like
We've got it all figured out

Well let me be the first to say that I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
Ain't gonna pretend like I do

Just trying
To find my way
To find my way the best I know how

Well I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say
But I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this art form someday
If I quote all the lines off the top of my head
Would you believe
That I fully understand all these things I've read

I'm just trying
To find my way
To find my way
To find my way the best that I know how

Well I haven't got it all figured out quite yet but
Even if it takes my whole life to get to where I need to be
And if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you, and

I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way

I'm try…

"He Says I've Seen Your Picture On A Hundred Dollar Bill"

Item #1: Dave and I have precious few common passions, but our most distinct link is the fact that we both love baseball/softball, and are both good at it. Some of our first dates, back last summer on good days we both had free, were spent at Whetstone Park throwing around a ball. He'd showoff how hard and far he could throw, and, feeling nude and frail without my lobtser-like catching gear, I would dodge anything that outstripped a passing butterfly. We are both very comfortable with each other, and ourselves, when passing time in such a way. I still remember the charming state of his rumpled clothes after an hour of catch, how I payed that much more attention to his physique as we passed the time in such a way.

In a chance act of fate, Dave got off early on a Saturday evening, so my dad invited him to come along with his kids to the batting cages. Ladies and gentlemen, the boy is irrefutably charming during a casual throw-around of the ball, but he's an absolute STUD at bat. …

Updating At Last

So here's my good excuse: I haven't updated lately because all the computers in my house have their own unique farts in them that render them each useless to me when it comes to my blogging life. The kids' computer that my dad assembled has this weird quirk when I log into blogger - it will automatically shut the internet off for some foreign reason. Dad's computer? Supposedly the most high tech and fastest computer in the house? Well, it's so over-protected that when I try to (God forbid) access a site that I must log into by username and password, well, its protection says NONE SHALL PASS. Therefore, no blogging there either. And my computer? has internet when I restart it, but if the internet is idle too long, it will disintegrate...until I restart the computer again. It's a vicious cycle I can't really win, but sometimes grapple with and get small moral victories with. But, once again, blogging is kind of moot on that machine.

So now it's w…

A Few Things for Tricia...

*pouts* I want a pet turtle named Mr. MyagiI accept the blogging cybercrown with invisible pride and honorThat last entry was the first poem I've written in almost a month - I no longer write them daily and it's been like that since JulyIt's 64 degrees outside today and smells like SpringI wore my pirate dagger necklace yesterday and loved the wicked feeling of its power hiding in my sportsbra

Inspired By A Friend's Entry

Turn the silver knobs along my neck
Twist until I nearly break
But tune me back into sweet life.
Don't play my notes so fiercely
My life is already stretched
And sometimes you break my strings
With a discordant pang of memory
Abuse me back to a loving life
Change my words my voice
Let my songs wash the ears of all around
With the smell of bar soap and spring
Let hot bath water pour from your fingers
To soothe the splintered spines
Rigid against the benchback seats.
Pluck me by pick
Nick me by nail
Bleed the beauty out of me
Wire fragments in your fingertips
I'll make your hands bleed if my heart does, too.
There's a microphone to my open mouth
The sweet chords only you can play on me
Floating with a gentle passion over the crowd
Are you proud of my life?
I am not proud of my frayed untrimmed wires
I am not happy that I have to be retuned
I am not confident of the music of my life
The bittersweet concoction that is never overkill
Sugar melting on the warm moist tongue
Like the chords of my hope,
The di…


To: McCray, Dave
Sent: Mar 10, 9:58am

The depth of my loathing for that math class is indescribable. But hey, I got out early for once, and i still have a chance of scraping by, that's some good news

Fr: McCray, Dave
Sent: Mar 10, 10:53am

You are so negative, it really gets on my nerves, i want a list of ten good things about math today

To: McCray, Dave
Sent: Mar 10, 10:55am

*grins* all right, I deserved that.

This from the king of negativity himself. Cheerful hypocrite that I am, I earned that reply.

Meet Dave

This is my boyfriend, Dave. I've just now had a divine revelation that many of you have either never seen him before, or haven't seen him for quite a while. So, after some tinkering, I finally get his picture up. Aw...ain't he cute?? :)

I took these pictures a few weeks ago, and only to Dave's grudging consent. I happened to have my digital camera in hand and charged SIMULTANEOUSLY and he suffered the consequences. And now, they're making their way onto the internet - tada!

Dave loves to work with his hands - if he can build it instead of buy it, he'll jump at the opportunity, even if building might be more of a pain or more of a bill. He loves knowing how things fit together and work together; his dad has worked in a machine shop for most of Dave's life, and Dave loved being able to go in and help, fiddling around with technology to his heart's content. And when he saw the contents of my brother's erector set spilled across the coffee table, he poun…