Skip to main content

Baby Elephants

I now have infamous grace in my family.

so two days ago, while it was raining in the morning, my mother dropped me off at school. Scrambling, I shoved my worn work shoes onto my feet and scooped up my bag; seeing how my mother had to tutor a kid in 15 minutes, I really had to get going. Opening up my polka-dot umbrella and slinging my bag onto my shoulder, I closed the van door...

Now let's pause, leaving our heroine in mid-stride. How long have I worn these shoes? a year. Do they have any traction after thousands of hours running around Wendy's? no, not really. Do they have any traction on a wet curb? I could defy the laws of friction in that envirionment.

...so our heroine's first step is miscalculated, and only her traction-less toe makes the curb instead of her entire foot. and down she goes. I didn't stand a chance. My hair and arms seemed puzzled by it all and tried to stay up in the air a split second longer, but my lower body knew I was done for. I stood up, grimacing in embarrassment, to my mother's hysterical laughter. She was laughing so hard it became internal; I didn't know she could go that long without breathing. She kept jabbing at her sternum, gasping for air and intelligible words, finally saying, "Oh Heather, you are SO your mother's daughter! I saw you stand for a moment, then the next all I saw were arms and hair flying everywhere." Leaning against the steering wheel for support, she wheezed, "I'm laughing so hard because I'm the kind who'd do something like that!" I giggled along, feeling perfectly foolish, rubbing the wet stripe now down the length of my right leg.

Still hiccuping with laughter, my mother wished me a good day. Looking around sheepishly for any witnesses, I went off to class with nothing worse than wounded pride, little expecting how the story would get around and around and AROUND my family. My mother was so genuinely delighted with the hilarity of my 'grace' that my father and half her side of the family knew within 36 hours. When the grandparents came into town yesterday for my sister's soccer game, I got properly razzed for the whole thing. Then my father learned about it, and was so disappointed I hadn't told him about it the first time I saw him. oh well. I guess I'm just a walking disaster - known to spill the most spill-proof of things, and now to sprawl on wet curbs. *sigh* I told my mom I was gonna start calling myself a baby elephant, and though she protested to my self-appointed name at first, it reminded her of my 'grace' and she collapsed into cahoots of laughter once more.

so I guess I really am a baby elephant. hooray for the love of a mother.

Comments

Deb said…
This is such a great story. And *so* well-written. I love how you use the "our heroine" thing.

Keep the posts comin', Heather. I'll read 'em!

Popular posts from this blog

I Watch You Smile - You Steal the Show

Anyone ever see "Mean Girls" with Lindsey Lohan? When she was pissed off, she suffered from a symptom she dubbed "word vomit". Hers was the result of her convulsing anger, but I have a different word vomit. Mine is basically the result of my vocabulary and emotions upchucking at the same time. I'm not quite sure what to tell you guys; what's appropriate to say, what you don't need to know, what's too much to tell you. This is probably gonna be a pretty long entry, which might scare you off, but after hearing my unusally discouraging tones I have no doubt that many of you are now riveted. I guess...you guys love me and want to know me, and for some, this is the only way you keep up with me. I'll figure out the limit as I go, I guess. I had a very good talk with my momma today, which is a good sign for our relationship. It was violently and starkly splintered for quite a while, but it has progressed in leaps and bounds lately as I've better und...

The First Stages

2 days ago I had a coffee date with the girl "in charge" of the house I'll be moving into this Sunday. Snuggled down in a sweatshirt over a white chocolate mocha during a drizzly afternoon we went over last minute details to make sure she and I were on the same page. As we wrapped everything up, she told me to wait and dashed to the car; coming back in with a polka dot gift bag I had only eyes for what lay behind the curled red ribbon tying the two handles together: two shiny silver keys. Inside the bag was a beautiful red journal and a heap of candy from all the girls to welcome me into the house, but I couldn't get over the feel of those keys in my hand with fresh cut grooves. I marveled at the sight of them threaded onto my keychain as Sarah Brasse's eyes danced from across the table. I looked up, feeling the warmth of the mocha spread from my abdomen to my fingers and toes and the ends of my hair. "It's real, isn't it?" I said. "It's...

Shipwrecked

I always seem to come back here, to this place of writing and sharing.  It feels like a boulder on the shore - I may wash away in the tide for a while, but somehow I always end up washed back here. It's now been nearly twelve years since my first post here.  I was 18 when I started this blog for my Freshman English class; two months from now, I'll be 30 and freshly divorced. There is much, of course, that I cannot and will not write about that last detail; I am not here to tattle or list grievances.  Here is the short story: we were together for nearly 12 years, and now we are working on paperwork for our dissolution.  No, there was no infidelity on either side.  And no, I was the one who initiated both the separation and the dissolution.  Yes, it was - and is - very painful.  And yes, I do hope he quickly finds happiness after we part ways, even if it sounds trite. And here I am, back here on this seaside boulder, washed ashore like a ...