Skip to main content

Becalmed

A baked ship on a listless sea lies limply on the waves.  White light tramples on the splintery boards as the vessel rocks in the glare of the sun.  Deck is bare and sail is empty; the lonely helm creaks as the weak current catches the rudder.

I stumble up on deck, a bottle sloshing in my hand.  My eyes are unable to focus; puking over the side helps the hangover.  And I look over to the wheel from the railing, remembering the storm that drove me below decks.

The storm came quickly; I had not been scanning the skies for the hints. Suddenly the rain had begun; a gust pummeled the sail as the tide kicked at the rudder beneath.  I clung to the wheel, already straining to breathe, to stand, to steer.  I lashed the wheel as another of the storm's tantrums pounded down upon the deck with heavy waves grasping at my shoes.  I battled over to the mast and fought to furl the hysterical sail. The salt and the raindrops stabbed into my bare hands, as the storm's shrieking began to grow.

Louder it shrieked as I struggled to stand on slick boards, and I fell onto my knees and my left wrist as I abandoned the possessed kite to get to the wheel.  I felt the warm blood on my palm briefly repel the ice of the deluge, until the salt dug into my broken skin and began to scream.  Numb hands clamped onto wooden spokes, and I fought to stay my course, battled to find the way as my own ship bucked against me.  Over and over again the spokes wrenched free and battered my knuckles, until I could no longer use my hands.  The storm mounted and roiled and ripped the energy from my limp body.  Salt water poured under my eyelids and into my ears, and scrubbed my throat raw.  I knew I had to stay my course, but I could only see the storm.

I leapt from the helm before it struck me; it began to spin wildly in the chaos, the ship her own master now.  I ducked under the boom as the wind cackled along the sheet of the sail, and fled below decks.  I uncorked a bottle of whiskey as the ship bucked and weaved as she wished.  I then looked to the opposite bunk where my father had remained asleep.  I had not thought to wake him.  And the wind whistled as I drunk myself into distraction and sleep.

I lay on the railing under the angry sun, an aimless failure on a becalmed sea.  Sweat beaded on my forehead and rolled down the channel of my spine.  I had failed.  Another rush of sea water and whiskey races up from my stomach and back into the waves.

And then I hear the footsteps on the planks.  And want to follow my vomit.

I slither to the boards and hide behind my knees, my hand still on the railing.  His eyes are clear as they rise from below the deck.  The bottle rolls as the ship tilts, and I pitch my head over the side again to expel another mouthful of bile.  I feel it dribble down my chin.  I cinch my eyes shut against the waves, my knuckles tight and white.  The boots stop behind me.  I brace for blows and bellowing.  I've lost our bearings; I should've stayed the course; I should've woken him up to help.

I suddenly feel his hands beneath my armpits and he grunts to lift me to my feet.  He steadies me by the shoulders as I stare at his shirt buttons.  A sigh; he cups a hand behind my head and pulls me to his chest, his left arm clamped around my back.  I press my face into his shirt and wrap my arms around his middle until my breathing slows to meet his.

He pushes me back again to look into my face, combing back the salty tangles from my face.  His thumb finds the sticky of the vomit on my chin.  He reaches into his front pocket for his handkerchief and wipes the spit away, and murmurs, "I'd glad you're ok."

Comments

Dorian said…
Like! This totally appeals to the grimy, old, whiskey-drinking, Tom Waits-listening, Bukowski-reading bastard in me. You should write this into a story...

Popular posts from this blog

The First Stages

2 days ago I had a coffee date with the girl "in charge" of the house I'll be moving into this Sunday. Snuggled down in a sweatshirt over a white chocolate mocha during a drizzly afternoon we went over last minute details to make sure she and I were on the same page. As we wrapped everything up, she told me to wait and dashed to the car; coming back in with a polka dot gift bag I had only eyes for what lay behind the curled red ribbon tying the two handles together: two shiny silver keys. Inside the bag was a beautiful red journal and a heap of candy from all the girls to welcome me into the house, but I couldn't get over the feel of those keys in my hand with fresh cut grooves. I marveled at the sight of them threaded onto my keychain as Sarah Brasse's eyes danced from across the table. I looked up, feeling the warmth of the mocha spread from my abdomen to my fingers and toes and the ends of my hair. "It's real, isn't it?" I said. "It's

The Core Four

What a wonderful delight - the Core Four are back and typing about their lives. Nothing makes my day quite like reading a fresh entry - or two even! - from Tricia AND Traci AND Jans. Nothing compares. Especially Jans; that was what, a two, maybe three month difference between entries? It made me sad, but I checked as often as I thought of it. What a tremendous treat to click your link and find my name invoked in the first sentence - I'll be on a high from that for hours to come. To the rest of you wondering what names I'm referring to, check on my links sidebar; the three of them and I used to live in three different cities and two different states (now three cities and three states), and our little-traveled blogs kept us connected. These girls are the reason why I started writing a blog at all; it's hard to imagine that I once was the worst at updating consistently...now I can't get enough of it, and I run out of stories to tell (which is saying alot for me...) We all

I Watch You Smile - You Steal the Show

Anyone ever see "Mean Girls" with Lindsey Lohan? When she was pissed off, she suffered from a symptom she dubbed "word vomit". Hers was the result of her convulsing anger, but I have a different word vomit. Mine is basically the result of my vocabulary and emotions upchucking at the same time. I'm not quite sure what to tell you guys; what's appropriate to say, what you don't need to know, what's too much to tell you. This is probably gonna be a pretty long entry, which might scare you off, but after hearing my unusally discouraging tones I have no doubt that many of you are now riveted. I guess...you guys love me and want to know me, and for some, this is the only way you keep up with me. I'll figure out the limit as I go, I guess. I had a very good talk with my momma today, which is a good sign for our relationship. It was violently and starkly splintered for quite a while, but it has progressed in leaps and bounds lately as I've better und