so I went to a football game tonight and remembered why a part of me doesn't like fall. oh sure, my visual sense explodes with pleasure every time I walk outside, but every time I soak in the colors, my nervous system takes a shot. especially tonight when dear Autumn decided to freeze my butt off. literally. my thinly clad buttocks were on a frozen strip of metal for nearly three hours in The Middle of Nowhere (I kid you not, there is a cornfield right next door, which amused me muchly), otherwise known as Centerburg. My dad's girlfriend, CeAnne, lives up there, and the high school was having their homecoming game. Great fun, except for the fact that I was checking to make sure my extremities weren't turning black and falling off.
I'm whining and it's not even that cold yet. wait for the whining to be posted in January, when there's no more holidays and it's just cold for no festive reason. oh, the euphoria then...
anyways, at the concession stand, I got a bag of my favorite candy: Reese's Pieces. Mm mm, that's amazing stuff right there, folks. So I'm sitting on the stands, feeling the blood in my lower body go from with-the-heater-on-in-the-car warm to the-longer-I-sit-on-these-bleachers-the-number-my-rear-gets cold, when I remember something and had to laugh out loud...
...two months ago, not long after my boyfriend Dave and I started dating, we were driving along and I found a half-full bag of Reese's Pieces in the backseat. the leftovers remained from our first date, but since sugar lasts forever, I dug right in. Of course, I offered him some. He grabs a handful and wolfs a few down, and has one last piece left. He smiles sweetly and motions as though he's going to feed it to me, and I think, Aww...how cute are you?
However that sentimental thought was rudely interrupted when the sweet smile turned evil and his thumb turned up swiftly to shove it rudely into my unsuspecting right nostril. with a howl of surprise and indignation, I scramble to get it out, AND I COULDN'T. I was going to be the freak walking around the rest of her life with a boogery piece of candy-coated peanut butter stuck in my nose, I was sure of it; finally, a torturous 30 seconds later, I succeed in extracting it and then throw it out the window with various and multiple sounds of disgust, at least half of them only to be repeated in a sequence of four various symbols. Leaning over the steering wheel, he could barely see straight, feeling like he had just won the Nobel Prize for Funniest Man Alive while I bandaged my bruised dignity. As he says now, it was his proudest moment.
And in those stands, my iron-cold butt stuck on unfamiliar bleachers for at least another hour, I laughed to myself and almost wished he were there to liven things up that way again.
ALMOST
I'm whining and it's not even that cold yet. wait for the whining to be posted in January, when there's no more holidays and it's just cold for no festive reason. oh, the euphoria then...
anyways, at the concession stand, I got a bag of my favorite candy: Reese's Pieces. Mm mm, that's amazing stuff right there, folks. So I'm sitting on the stands, feeling the blood in my lower body go from with-the-heater-on-in-the-car warm to the-longer-I-sit-on-these-bleachers-the-number-my-rear-gets cold, when I remember something and had to laugh out loud...
...two months ago, not long after my boyfriend Dave and I started dating, we were driving along and I found a half-full bag of Reese's Pieces in the backseat. the leftovers remained from our first date, but since sugar lasts forever, I dug right in. Of course, I offered him some. He grabs a handful and wolfs a few down, and has one last piece left. He smiles sweetly and motions as though he's going to feed it to me, and I think, Aww...how cute are you?
However that sentimental thought was rudely interrupted when the sweet smile turned evil and his thumb turned up swiftly to shove it rudely into my unsuspecting right nostril. with a howl of surprise and indignation, I scramble to get it out, AND I COULDN'T. I was going to be the freak walking around the rest of her life with a boogery piece of candy-coated peanut butter stuck in my nose, I was sure of it; finally, a torturous 30 seconds later, I succeed in extracting it and then throw it out the window with various and multiple sounds of disgust, at least half of them only to be repeated in a sequence of four various symbols. Leaning over the steering wheel, he could barely see straight, feeling like he had just won the Nobel Prize for Funniest Man Alive while I bandaged my bruised dignity. As he says now, it was his proudest moment.
And in those stands, my iron-cold butt stuck on unfamiliar bleachers for at least another hour, I laughed to myself and almost wished he were there to liven things up that way again.
ALMOST
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