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I Hope I'm This Senile Someday - What A Great Excuse

So here's my first funny story from my new job at Giant Eagle:

I'm standing at the end of my empty check-out line and trying to lure in full-carted customers with encouraging smiles when i see a little old man and his wife a few lines down at the self-checkout area. I smiled at them, and then the little old man graced me with a short bow. I bowed back, and he smiled like he thought I had performed the most wonderful thing. He waddled over as fast as his rheumetic limbs would allow and proceeded to give me a full explanation, including hand illustrations, as to why he found my bow so charming:

"Usually anymore when you bow at someone, even though yer trying to be nice, all anybody'll do is fwip!" He whipped out a gnarled middle finger as a demonstration, much to my surprise. And it didn't end there. "And if that ain't enough, if you keep trying to be nice, they'll just bbbrrrrrt!" Turning his finger horizontal, he skimmed across my line of vision like some tiny not-quite-offensive jet. I blinked and smiled uncertainly. Moments later, his wife came over with an apologetic smile; he blustered for a minute, then thought the next minute about what he had done:

Instead of being flicked off for an outward display of courtesy, as he so disliked, he had just done the same to me without even realizing it. He hurried to the self-checkout, obviously mortified when he understood what had just happened. I just smiled, trying hard not to laugh and wishing someone else I worked with had seen it and could've shared the joke.

Going back to my station, i stuffed my face into the laminated code sheet and chuckled as quietly as possible until a full-carted customer came in and asked loudly "Excuse me, are you open? Your light is on." At which point I was obligated to tear myself away from the Holy Grail of Produce Codes until their avacados came up in their grocery queue, still biting my lip until I thought it would bleed, glad I had been on the receiving end of the quite-possibly-very-insulting display the senile sir had performed instead of someone else more...sensitive.

Comments

Deb said…
Already a funny Giant Eagle story? Wow.

Keep 'em coming!

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