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the look in your eyes makes everything seem okay

[thanks to traci: I stole this line from your blog - I liked it too much to leave it where it was on yours *smiles*]

the internet is a wonderful thing, the way you can stay connected to people without ever actually interacting with them. it's easier...but I guess it's sadder, too. I know what's happening to friends hundreds of miles away, but I'm not actually in their lives, truly, right now. I wish I were.

reading some of my friends blogs today made me miss them so much. a couple of years ago, Tricia introduced me to Traci (affectionately, Jewel) online as a girl who'd been her best friend in Virginia, the place she had just moved from. A few months later, I got to meet Traci and then go to the Maryland Rennaissance Festival with her and Kelly, but Kelly isn't Kelly, she's Jans. Traci is Jewel online, but Traci is Traci in person. Kelly is Jans online; Kelly is Jans in person; Kelly is Jans to me.

Down in Virginia, I'm no longer Heather - it's the one place in the world where no one knows what my real name is, I'm Heath around these people. The parents, the younger kids, the older kids, the little siblings, the older brothers...I'm Heath. Heather is something I leave back in Ohio; Heath is something born in the Tree of Life hallways by Tricia's nicknaming brain and cultivated by her family even when I'm not in Virginia. To Tricia and Traci and Jans and The Aurands and The Starkeys and The Virginian People...I'm Heath.

For some reason, I've always loved nicknames, and Heath has become a special one. Not that it's especially original, but because of it's history. I even like how closely related my nickname is to my name, because I get called Heath by people who don't even know the history behind it. And I smile, and think of the people who call me Heath. I think of Tricia coming down the TOL hallway in her ridiculous star-laced shoes and with those Tricia-esque ringlets around her face and belting out my name. I think of dear Margie, the wonderful red-head I graduated with, french-braiding her hair because she asked me to. I think of Lauren and Kasey and Jenny Jen and the pirate bunch all knowing this name and adding even more to this invaluable piece of me. I think of the sole two times Traci opened up her door to find me on her front porch and the exultations that followed. I think of Jansy sweeping me off my feet and telling me Hair says hello. I think of nights spent sleeping over at Jansy's and Traci's and Tricia's and the Persingers' and everything that makes my nickname one of my favorite things about myself. Every time I hear it, all these good memories come tumbling back on me, and makes me miss these people so much...but the name reminds me of them, and how lucky I am to know them and be loved by them.

To Tricia and Jansy and Traci and The Aurands and The Starkeys and The Virginian People...I miss you and love you all. I hope everything is going well with you wonderful people, and I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you today.

love,
~heath

Comments

Anonymous said…
i love you too, heath. thanks for remembering us.

hair wants me to say that it loves you, too.
Anonymous said…
heath,
i love you, kindred spirit.
what are you doing over christmas break?
do you aim?
i'm breakingfaith02.
Deb said…
I *totally* have a fascination with names and nicknames too! You should see the lists I kept when I was trying to figure out what to name my kids!

I really like how you tie your nickname in with the social here--how you talk about what the nickname means to you within that specific community of friends. That's cool.

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