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Hide-and-Seek

Last night was incredible and I take ALL the credit for its genius. The formerly unmentioned friend I've been talking to again lately will now be given a name - his name is John. John just bought a house up in Grove City two weeks ago, so it's little more than empty closets and paint cans at the moment. Obviously, I hadn't seen it before, so when Amy called me up to go hang out, I went kind of reluctantly but ended up having a good time with them.

Upon reaching John's house, we say at his little kitchen table (the only furniture in the house) wasting the butane in his lighter before deciding to light the cozy fireplace. Somehow we ended up talking about what we could do until we went home, since there wasn't a TV or anything and I said, "Dude, let's play hide-and-seek!"

"But, where would we hide?"

"Hello - my brother and sister and I played hide-and-seek in a miniature hotel room; all you need to do is turn off the lights."

And thus the games began. I wanted to volunteer to count first, which I always do in order to scope out hiding spots, but John went first instead; the moment the door to the garage closed, Amy and I took off like a shot, scrambling for a hiding spot. At one point, John cozied himself back in the darkest corner of his crawlspace, finding an old fax machine back there before having to stumble back out for the next round.

There were 3 key rounds, those being the three last. After a round of being "It" and scoping for spots, I found the perfect one - the cabinets underneath the kitchen counter. Since John hasn't fully moved in yet, there was nothing inside them yet - PERFECT. When searching, people will automatically think of places they themselves could fit in, and since I'm smaller and more flexible than both of them, I found this spot and it was PERFECT. John started prowling the house and found Amy upstairs without any trouble. Then they began to hunt for me. Up the stairs, down the stairs, down in the basement....back up again to the top floor. I'm starting to sweat because it's a little warm being shut up inside a cabinet and I hear my phone start to go off. POUND POUND POUND "SHOOT! I thought she maybe had her phone with her." I'm trying so hard not to laugh, glorying in my brilliance, as Amy picks up the phone and starts talking to Dave. "Oh yeah, we're playing hide-and-seek and...we can't find her, we have no idea where she is." Out of deference to Dave wanting to say hello to me, I knocked on the cabinets and heard this loud "NO WAY" just before the doors were pulled open. Twisting my body out, demonstrating how I had crammed my body in there, and then being hailed a contortionist, I said hello and goodbye to Dave in his confusion and we went on to the next round.

Amy went out to the garage and John and I scrambled downstairs to the basement. Concealing himself behind a piece for a screen door in a darkened corner, I started getting beneath the stairs. I had discovered a couple of rounds ago that behind the slatted basement steps was a recess going back a couple feet, with a diamond-shaped hole just big enough to accomodate someone of my size, but not John or Amy's. The garage door opened and the basement went silent. She checked the upstairs, then came into the basement. Curling into as flat a ball as possible in the furthest corner, I avoided her revealing touch when she briefly groped between the stairs for signs of life beneath them. Muttering, she headed back upstairs, not finding either of us in the darkness. The next thing I know, the bright light of a cell phone permeates my dark corner and John's head and arm are illuminated. Sheer genius - she had already checked under the stairs so she wouldn't check again. The only problem was getting him under the stairs. Yet someone, with enough shoulder twisting and pulling and grunting and encouragement, he managed to tuck his body into the corner opposite mine under the stairs, both of us wishing we could just DIE laughing, knowing the fury our red-headed friend would be in. The footsteps continued, only louder and louder and LOUDER, up and down the house. We had to suppress our HOWLS of hysteria when she came stomping down the stairs. Turning the corner, she flipped on the light to the crawlspace, illuminating John's foot for a horrifying moment; but her back was turned, and he drew his knees up towards his chest. She stomped her way back upstairs and from the living room shouted angrily "THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE! YOU BETTER NOT BE LAUGHING AT ME!" Soon followed by "THAT'S IT - LIGHTS ARE GOING ON!!" True to her word, she flipped the switch to the basement, but again, turned the corner and missed us. When she came back to go upstairs she did a double-take at the pair of grinning hyenas which had been right under her nose the entire time, waiting for their moment of triumph - then the hyenas burst out with their raucous laughter and recounted the whole tale from their perspective of hearing every footstep and tantrum. Contorting my body, I wriggled myself out and then helped John out from a hole we're still trying to figure out how he passed his body through.

The last round was the worst (luckily, I'm not still itching from it) when Amy and I hid from John. With few options, we secreted ourselves in a back corner of the crawlspace...under a loose piece of fiberglass insulation. Oo yeah, there's a smart move. John made a beeline for the crawlspace, but since it's as black as midnight in there, he whined "I don't want to crawl around in the dark looking for you guys. I could just sit here and tell funny stories 'til you laugh...No? OK, maybe you aren't down here." He heads for the stairs, and to be funny, Amy called his cell and hung up before he could answer. It delayed his exit to the next floor, and my throat started to chafe from being beneath a mass of little irritating particles for so long, and finally (I really couldn't help it) coughed loudly, confirming that we were in the crawlspace. He came back in and started talking, and with the combination of the giggles from our predicament and the strong desire to GET OUT OF THERE we started laughing and Amy called out "JOHN, TURN ON THE LIGHT AND LOOK AT WHAT SITUATION WE'RE IN". Laughing, we headed upstairs, Amy and I dusting pick fluffs off each others' bodies, itching our arms and blotting them with wet paper towels, finally deciding to call it a night and head home.

Glorying in the post-enthusiasm, I drank in the effects of my child-like brilliance, wishing to myself that it would always be this light-hearted with these two when I was around. One can always hope...and I'll wait and see.

Comments

Deb said…
How FUN! And what a great way to get to know a new house!
Anonymous said…
*grins* hide and seek havent plau=yed that since my 8th grade field trip to Tennessee. in that game me and a friend crawled into the rafters of the bedroom in the cabin were we were all staying and wernt found and the funny thing was the lights were on.
Anonymous said…
Boyer, you should seriously consider being a writer, because your little short takes of your life make me giggle. And i think the world should hear about them.

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